That Reaper, At Your Service
by Midknight Shadows
Summary: Have you ever wanted a little Q and A session with everyone's favourite red Reaper, the butler of DEATH? Well, you're in luck, because that's what this is!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji. I'm merely one of its pawns, and a gorgeous one at that!**

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><p><strong>It would seem that setting up these adorable little Q and A interviews is the fashionable thing to do nowadays, and I can't be out of fashion, now can I? It would hardly seem proper for a lady of my prestige! Ask away and I'll answer as best I can~!<strong>

**I'll update at least once a week. I would update daily, but my dearest William informed me that if I dared let this take priority over my paperwork, I'd be demoted and forced to do double overtime with a pair of scissors instead of my deathscythe, and that isn't really something I'd like to experience again. So I told him that I'd only let it take priority over my paperwork once a week. His eyebrow twitched in response, and that's close enough to a "Yes" for me.**

**Hugs and kisses~!**

_**Grell Sutcliff**_


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm still just a pawn, not an owner, of Kuroshitsuji. If I owned it, I'd have Sebas-chan by now...**

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><p><strong>Already so many questions to answer! If they keep coming at this rate, I'll end up with more questions to answer than I have paperwork to fill! Thankfully, I never tire of talking about myself.<strong>

_From Mr. Grell Michaelis_

_LOL! That's awesome! :D I'm a big Grell fan! But I got to know...who was your first crush? I mean...it couldn't be Will...could it?_

_grellxsebby 4ever! :D_

Actually, you are correct! Will was not my first crush. There were quite a few other men in my classes that I was attracted to, in fact, I've lost count, but they were mostly short-lived interests. Most of them turned out not to be as enigmatic and exciting as I had hoped. So Will was my first long-lived crush, but not my first crush.

I'm glad to see another supporter of my and Sebastian's relationship together! I just told him the other day that I had a surprise wedding planned! He hasn't responded to me yet, so I presume that means he is getting ready. How exciting!

_ From Pae_

_Boxers or briefs? And what color(s)?_

How dare you ask that of a lady! You sir, have no manners! And why would I wear mens' underwear? The very idea is atrocious!

_From 4Maximum Phantomhive_

_Dear, Grell Sutcliffe Why does your name spell so close to SLUTcliffe?_

_What's your least favorite color?_

_What's your favorite letter in the alphabet?_

_What did you think of Madam Red had she not not killed Ciel?_

_What do you think of the Young Earl himself?_

_Will you give me the gift of laughter as an exchange for these questions?_

_-Maximum Phantomhive (Undertakers apprentice)_

_Ps. Please check out my fanfictions! :)_

...I assure you, that is a complete coincidence and it says absolutely nothing about my character.

My least favourite colour is that revolting muddy brown-green colour that resembles swamp muck. There is nothing that can redeem that colour!

My favourite letter in the alphabet is "R". So many wonderful words start with R! Red, rose, reaper, rev, revenge...

If Madam Red had been the woman I thought she was and killed the brat, I would have continued to love her. Normally I am not interested in women, but she was so perfect, and so beautiful coloured red in blood! And the Madam that I thought she was had been strong-willed, impassioned, adventurous, brave... It was such a shame she turned out to be weak. After I had done so much for her, risking my position and even my life for her, she couldn't do one small thing for me. So if she had managed that small favour, we would still be together, spreading pretty, pretty red...

My personal opinion of the Brat Phantomhive? I admire his stubbornness and will-power, but he is so emotionless! No passion, no style, he's just so drab! In the end, he isn't much more than a secondary character in my drama of a life. I don't hate him, but I don't like him either and it wouldn't bother me if I had to cut him down for whatever reason.

The gift of laughter? How exactly should I give that? And I will take a look at your stories. I do love a good story! Especially if I'm in it!

**Thank you all for all of your questions! Now this actress must resign for a short break in her quarters~ **

**Your Red Reaper,**

**_Grell Sutcliff_**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own, for I am but a pawn of Kuroshitsuji... And a Deadly efficient one at that!**

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><p><strong>William is busy on field duty right now, so it's the perfect time for an update! Thank you very much for all of the questions! They are a pleasure to answer, so long as they aren't about my undergarment preference! I'm glaring at YOU, Pae!<br>**

_From Rosegurl1_

_Dear Grell,_

_Alice: "Grell, get back to work. Also stop hitting on on my William. -glare of doom- "_

_Me: "Sorry about my oc. She don't really like you. She half goddess and half angel. So my question to you is, Would you date Undertaker? I want to know."_

_Alice: "My Lady. He needs to get back to work. -sigh-"_

_Master of Heavenly maid,_

_Rosegurl1_

_(P.S. Please do read my stories. Thank you.)_

"Dear" Alice,

YOUR Will? Excuse me, but I think not! Will has no interest in anyone but me! Especially a non-Reaper! Also, you can't tell me what to do if you aren't even part of the dispatch! Goddesses are soooo overrated, anyway~!

Dear Rose,

I definitely would, if he promised not to hurt my face again! I don't mind rough men, but I draw the line at the face! Have you seen his eyes? He really is a hottie~!

I'll take a look at your stories as soon as Ronnie stops reading over my shoulder! That's right Ronnie, I noticed you there~!

Ronald: Someone needs to keep you in check, senpai!

Grell: I'm the one who is supposed to be keeping YOU in check, Ronnie!

_From Roisalee Jones_

_Dear Madam Grell,_

_Hello! My name is Roisalee Jones, but do please call me Roisa. How do you know if you're in love? And can I play with your hair? *sparkly eyes* It's so long and shiny! (u)b_

Dear Roisa,

Well that one has a lot of answers! Personally, I usually feel the sudden and very strong urge to bear his children.

Ron: SENPAI!

Grell: Well it's true!

Other symptoms may be the desire to be near, listen to, share time with, share secrets with, and glomp said person. You just sort of... KNOW. You might push the feeling off or dismiss it as something else, but you'll know.

Sorry, the hair is off limits except from 3:00-8:00 Mon-Sat and 4:00-5:00 on Sundays. Holidays and the days right after I've finished styling it for a special occasion are also off limits. Come back at one of those times, okay~?

_From Mr. Grell Michaelis_

_:D um...no questions now...although i agree with your assessment of Ciel... :D_

_GRELLXSEBBY 4EVER! :D :D :D :D :D_

Dear Grell Michaelis,

I'm glad you enjoyed it! And continue to support me and my future husband! I love your penname, by the way.

_From AnnLay_

_I have some questions! :3_

_1. Why in the heck do you call yourself a girl when your transexal? And you cant say its rude cause imma girl and can ask this stuff of other girls so ha *Stick tounge out*_

_dont you like Ciel? hes so cuddly XD_

_do you love red so much? O.O_

Hello Ann!

I call myself a girl because I am at heart! My _sex_ may be male, but my _gender_ is female!

I don't like Ciel, but I don't hate him. He almost frightens me for being so wizened at such a young age. He is not cuddly, either. He is about as cuddly as a proverbial porcupine. He is also plotting something against me at this particular time in response to an accident involving Sebas-chan's hand and my chainsaw. Even though I explained that it really _wasn't_ my fault! I went to his manor with the innocent intention of catching up with old times, when Sebas-chan came out of _nowhere_ looking sexy! And what was a girl to do, right? It was just too much! One thing led to another and Sebas-chan accidentally touched the nasty end of my chainsaw, which just so happened to be on at the moment. Long story turned short, he can't use his hand for a while and they are blaming _me_ for it!

Red is the colour of passion! The colour of romance! It is the deepest, richest, and most symbolic of all colours~! And, of course, it looks GORGEOUS on me!

_From Moonlightpheonix-xX_

_Wow, Grell. You're doing these Q-and-A fics? Like letter fics? OK, then i'd like to tell you something you might be might be interested in._

_I saw this video one time when some green-haired girl wearing glasses took your Hairstyle. (It was a pretty green/blue, not swamp muck) Gosh, there were Grell comments all over that video! (Incase you're interested I think the song was called Red Punishment. Wow... what a coincidence...)_

Dear Moonlight,

Yes I am! As I said, they are in fashion and I am certainly feeling the appeal!

I actually did see this video a few weeks ago. And as many of the comments said, I had only followed the link because she looked like me in the picture. I did love the name, and the song wasn't bad either, but it left me with no doubt that red hair is infinitely sexier than blue~!

**Well, that seems to be all the questions for now. I see why these Q and As are so popular! Reading and answering all of your great questions is a pleasure!**

**Stay fabulous while I'm gone~!**

_**Grell Sutcliff**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, here we are again! If I sound a bit less extravagant than usual, it's because I'm in a rather awkward situation right now. Ciel and I had a complicated argument, he cheated, and now I'm handcuffed to a table. And he has my deathscythe. I have an idea! Why don't you, my wonderful, wonderful readers, come up with a list of "Reasons Why Ciel Phantomhive Should Let the Amazing and Beautiful Grell Sutcliff Go"! **

_From OneHellOfACiel_

_Grell-I would like to know only one thing: why did you kill Madame Red? And it was most definetly your fault for cutting Sebastian's hand, idiot. On other terms, are you comfy as to where I hand cuffed you? This really is a cool death scythe, mind teaching me how to use it? I might feel generous then and let you go before Sebastian get's here to pick me up, I'm not in the mood to shadow morph again..._

"Dearest" Ciel,

Well, what would have happened if she'd lived? She'd have to deal with you anyway, whether it be by killing you or being captured by you, so I like to think I did her a favour! I really did love her, you know! Enough to kill her.

I told you, it was an accident.

No, not particularly.

Yes, it is, isn't it? You just have to pull the little… wait NO! I will NOT teach you how to use it!

Um, yes that actually would be preferable…

_From Dynamic-in-Red_

_Well,staying fabulous won't be difficult for me ~ hum, anyway Grell, what is your favorite langage ? I do think that men with british accent are sooo sexy... And you should tell to Will that you love him,... I KNOW he loves you ! He's'just to cold 3 . Look into his eyes, make your most gorgeous an sincere smile and just say " i love you ~ " with your charming voice, and i'm sure it will end with a passionate FRENCH KISS 3 . GOOD LUCK GIRL ! (And if it doesn't work, well Will will be for me ! Huhuhu ~ )_

Dear Dynamic,

That's good to know.

My favourite language is English for exactly that reason~!

I have told him this on many occasions and only once did it ever end in a French kiss. And I'm pretty sure that time was a daydream, but I was a bit tipsy at the time! Ronnie and I had the night off and we spent it at a club…

And stay away from my Will!

_From NOM NOM LLAMA LLAMAHave you ever heard of vocaloid? also your human form is sooooooooooooo kawaiiiiii 3 3 your so cute shy and timid and look awesome in awhite dress_

Dear Nom,

Yes I have! I don't like too many of them, but there are some good ones!

(A.N: Vocaloid is pretty much the only thing on my iPod)

Thank you, I worked very hard to make myself look right for the job! I am very skilled in makeup, as an actress should be!

_From Rosegurl1 _

_Dear Grell,_

_Alice: "You dare call me overrated. You little ladybug and you were not a great butler to Madam Red. You damn lucky that William needs you for work, because if he did not I would rip you apart right now. -Her black hair flows above her and her eyes glows with anger.- William don't like you at all and also Ceil's butler feels the same way."_

_Me: "Alice please go cool off and let me deal with him."_

_Alice: "Yes, my Lady. -with a bow to her lady-"_

_Nickoi: "Miss Rose. Why does Alice look more than piss?"_

_Me: " A former butler with red hair that she worked with. -sigh- Grell this is my oc Nickoi. He is a vampir prince with long black hair."_

_Nickoi: "They warned me of him. I finally meet the one and only Grell. I have a question for you. Why do you have to hit on very non- able male? Sorry I have a girlfriend that I love very much." Me: "I know that Undertaker's eyes are very pretty, but why do he covers them up."_

_Master and friend to all,_

_Rosegurl1_

"Dear" Alice,

You don't have to be so rude just because I'm prettier and get all the handsome men~!

Dear Nickoi,

Nice to meet you! My, my, you are quite easy on the eyes! But I don't date men who date other women. That doesn't leave enough time for me and my needs.

_From MoonlightPheonixX_

_Yay, you saw the vid!I, too, love red but green is my you want Sebby, stalk him and force him to spend time with you. (Not much of a yoai fan, but hey, I like helping people. ^_^)This is my logic and reasoning behind it: People like crazy/quiet/stoic people because they don't know much about them. The more you know about the subject, the more you're attracted to that person. ^_^_

Dear Moonlight,

Yes, I did! And the song was pretty good.

I don't understand how you could like that colour over red!

I do! I've got that covered! And it isn't yaoi if one of the boys is a girl, now is it?

I like your logic. Let's hope Sebas-chan does as well!

_From roshyn77_

_Hi Grell, *hugs*I have a few questions:_

_How good of a dancer are you and what's your favorite dance to do? (Besides the chesire cat dance XD)_

_What's your favorite music?_

_How do you keep your glasses on when fighting?_

_If you could go wherever you wanted what would be the place you would go? (besides with Sebby on a beach XD)_

_Have you ever thought of bedazzling your chainsaw?_

Dear Roshyn,

That's a lovely name, isn't it! It sounds like a character in Shakespeare.

I like to dance to all sorts of music. I particularly like slow dances. Preferably the kind that end in a kiss~! I also enjoy dancing to Lady GaGa's music, but those are two entirely different kinds of dances. I'm fabulous at both, of course! Especially the kissing part of slow dances. I would show you, but I am rather uncomfortably handcuffed to a table right now. Hm, I wonder… If Sebas-chan were to come and find me like this… would he… take advantage of my situation? Oh…. Now I'm getting hot just THINKING about it!

All Reaper's glasses are carefully made to fit perfectly and snugly so that they won't fall off!

I would like to go to the Alps. They are quite the sight any time of year, and with so many castles… Why, any number of princes could be hiding there! Well, perhaps not, but it is still the perfect romantic setting. Beaches are nice too, but far less romantic. I also love the idea of a cruise!

No, I had not before, but that is a wonderful idea and if I ever get it back from Earl Whelp, I might just do that!

**Well, there! I managed to answer all of your questions while handcuffed to a table! Impressed? Well, that's all of the questions for right now, which is good. For all I love talking about myself, my wrists hurt…**

**Signing off~!**

_**Grell Sutcliff**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Wow, I'm sorry it took so long... I had actually put it up a while ago but had to take it down! I needed permission from OneHellofaCiel to post that part about kitty Ciel for reasons that may become clear someday soon. So sorry if your question isn't answered, I'll post the next chapter today or tomorrow!**

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><p><strong>Aha! I'm back! I managed to escape that Earl by seducing his demonic butler with my bewitching good looks! *does signature gesture and winks*<strong>

**Sebastian: That is not how it happened at all…**

**Grell: *over Sebastian* ANYWAY! Thank goodness it's all over now! After that fiasco, I think I might cool my nerves a little by doing what I do best(besides seducing demons and spreading that GLORIOUS RED around~! DEATH~!) Talking~!**

_From Dinamic-in-Red_

_Thanks for your answer, darling ^w^ . Aaaw i hope for you it wasn't a dream... Will must be a kisser to die for ~ by the way, it's not very ladylike to get drunk ! è.é .And sorry but i won't get away for Will, except if your relation become official ~ . Well, i have a question : How will you call your child(ren) ? And would you want to be the dady ? Sebby or Willu ? Oh, you know if you want to be able to bear a baby, you should ask Undertaker to modificate your cinematic record with his book mark ! He could write something like "and Grell Sutcliff suddently became a true woman ", isn't it a good idea ?_

Dear Dynamic,

He was! He was! I hope it wasn't a dream as well!

Fine. But you know you can't win~!

It is plenty lady-like if you do it right! And you'll know when you're doing it right because you end up with lots of men buying you drinks and sipping wine out of your shoe. It was quite a nice night!

I would name them… Sereth-Aaron for a boy and Rosalia-Bastian for a girl! Both those names sound beautiful with Sutcliff… Or Michaelis~!

Unfortunately, that is a last resort technique used for dilemmas in the human world. Although… If I could create a dilemma large enough that could only be solved by me becoming a woman, I certainly would have a chance! Of course, that requires thinking of a dilemma that would work… Any ideas, please put them in a review!

_From *shudders* Roisalee Jones_

_B-b-b-bear children? *face goes red* Er, wow. I'm not sure if I was supposed to be expecting that answer...Well, um, anyways, what sorts of dresses do you like? I like lolita~ And do you attend parties? If so, what kind do you usually attend? Oh, and what is your favorite flower? I like daisies. ^^_

Dear Roisalee, who is sweet on the outside and bitter on the inside,

With what else goes in that mind of yours, I'm surprised it hadn't occurred to you… Or perhaps it did and you're just playing innocent… *narrows eyes*

I like extravagant ball gowns and opera dresses. Somewhat skimpy cocktail dresses as well, I admit.

Yes I attend parties. I'm a blast at parties! What else could you expect? I'm the Cinderella of every ball- Except I'm not one to leave at midnight when dancing with a handsome man!

The kind that end a little nasty are always the best, dear~

A rose, by any other name's just as sweet!

_From OnehellofaCiel_

_All it takes is ten little reasons as to why I should let you go. And no, I would have not captured her, and she would not have killed me. She hesitated. How does it feel to have murdered the one you loved? Now, as I said before, I may be swayed to let you go before Sebastian gets here if you teach me how to use your scythe, and where to get one._

"Dearest" Ciel,

Apparently, I make a very comfortable cat-nap spot. Is that reason enough for you?

Poor readers must be so confused! Let me shine a little light on the subject~

Ciel cheated in a fight and managed to handcuff me to a table. Being as smart as I am, I immediately began to formulate my escape plan! I distracted him for hours while secretly filing open the chains that bound me. The good thing about being so obsessive over appearance is that you have a nail file everywhere you go!

Anyway, I managed to quite nearly escape, when Earl Whelp decided to cheat once again, using his demon powers to constrain me. After an extensive explanation and an eventual apology, he decided to turn into a partial cat form and take a nap on my chest until Sebastian came. Don't ask me why. I don't know what goes on in that kid's head. Anyway, Sebastian finally came and was completely consumed in patting Ciel on the head like a kitten while I got away!

I don't believe for a second that Madam Red could have lived with herself longer. I don't believe you wouldn't have turned her in. I think… I think I did the right thing, even though it hurts. I wear her jacket for a reason, you know. And not just because it's a hottie magnet.

Step one is to become a Reaper. Ask for step two when you manage that first one.

_From Moonlightpheonix-xX_

_Yeah, it's still yaoi if one of the guys has the mind of a girl._

_...Cause, biologicaly(Is that a word?), you're still a guy._

_Yay, you like my logic! (It came from hours of watching the show Soul Eater and fangirling over SteinxMedusa vids... Don't ask. My mind works in strange ways...)_

Opinions opinions! My sex is male, but my gender is female! Besides, I don't care what it is so long as it's a bad romance!

**Awwww… That's all the questions? There must be more somewhere… Nope. Too bad, I needed something to take my mind off of all of these horrible things that have been going on…!**

**William: How about your paperwork -_-…?**

**Grell: I think I'll go shopping!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Grell: Once again, my charms have saved me from certain death at the hands of a particularly handsome demon~! He just can't resist me, can he~?**

**Grey(the author. Hi!): They don't know what you're talking about... Look up Revenge of a Lost Soul for this to make any sense at all! And it probably won't even then, actually. It would take a bit of tag to find it. Long story short, OneHellofaCiel formed an army to take revenge on Grell for...  
><strong>

**Sebastian: *interrupting, voiced to Grell* What you mean to say is my young master decided to let you live at the last second.**

**Grell: It was definitely charm.**

**Ronald: They got you GOOD, sempai!**

**Grell: SHUT UP OR I'LL GIVE YOU THE SAME AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!**

**Ronald: Whoa, calm down!**

**Grell: How can I calm down? I'm scarred for days...*hides face in hands***

**Sebastian: Consider yourself lucky. -I- would have killed you.**

**Grell: You know you wouldn't have~**

**Sebastian: No, I really would.**

**Grell: You're just playing hard to get~**

**Sebastian: Just answer the questions already.**

**Grell: Anything for ~you~, Sebas-chan~~~~~~**

_From SebastianMichaelisluvr_

_Hello Madame Grell,_

_Thank you for offering to help tutor me in math, I honestly appreciate it. Also thank you for the tip in division. You are a very nice 'woman.' But unfortunatley for you, once I promise somthing I keep my word. I will not betray Ciel and Sebastian like that, for they are my friends. Well, Ciel anyways. I havent quite worked up the courage to talk to Sebastian yet... o/o Besides that, Ciel not only agreed to tutor me in math, but he also gave me the worlds awesomest cookie. I have yet to try Sebastian's cookies but I'm sure they taste good too. By the way, I may not be a full-fledged like a certain azure eyed demon, but you should not underestimate the power of a half demon. Of course myself on my own can not take you down, I'm not Jesus! But with an army of hopeful humans, 2 half demons, and however many demons, you will have quite a challenge, now wont you? And Ciel? Did you say he's not handsome? Of course you would say that. You cant look at him the way other people do. Also, I wish to know, how long did it take you to grow your hair that long? It is rather luxerious! And that crimson red... that beautiful blood red... can melt one into butter. I would like to be friends, up until the point where you know, we have to kill you... so yes. A pleasure to make your acquaintence, Madame Grell! By the way, do you have a deviantart page? If not, you should make one._

_~SebastianMichaelisluvr1_

Dear SebastianMichaelisluvr,

You're welcome, I have actually had plenty of practice tutoring math. I could definitely teach you more than a thirteen year old demon!

*narrows eyes* Yes, well I suppose Ciel must not have told you that he decided to take revenge on his own with Sebastian, eh? Now what kind of a friend is that? They already took it...*shudder* Believe me. If you want to know what happened, OneHellofaCiel posted it all under the name "Revenge of a Lost Soul". That should clear things up.

He isn't handsome... Cute, perhaps, but only men are handsome!

Why thank you! It took almost twenty five years to grow it this long and I'm QUITE proud of it! I do take exemplary care of it. After all, what woman doesn't?

As I said, Ciel has already exacted his revenge... And killing me was never part of the plan, against all evidence. I am still quite alive, and, as of now, quite furious. That little whelp left horrible scars that'll take DAYS to heal! DAYS! That's a long time for a strong shinigami.

I'm sorry I do not have a deviant art account, and I do not plan on making one in the near future.

_From Dynamic-in-red_

_Oh, but of course i CAN win ! Who do you think i am, girl ? I can win Willu's love è.é . If you end up with Sebby for example, then Will is all MINE ^w^ . ... Oow... But i'd like you to end up with Will even if i love him. Hum...can't we share ? X3 . Anyway, if you want a dilemma : kill all the female Shinigami. If Shinigamis want to preserve their race, they'll have to turn at least one of them into a woman, and your dream will come true ! I'm a genius ~ I deserve a gift !_

Dear Dynamic,

No you can't! Anything you can do I can do better~!

Sebas-chan is also mine and I guess they'll just have to BOTH remain mine until one of them realises it!

Yes... That would be a fine idea if we didn't have the highest security of any division. I'd be caught dead before I managed to do anything. Cookies for the thought, though, honey!

_From OneHellofaCiel_

_Shut...t-the hell...up*cough cough*. You...deserved...t-this...*collapses, aww poor Ciel, you see what you made him do.*. Sebastian: come young master*picks him up* let's return home._

"Dearest" Weak Fluffy Kitten Demon Boy,

Notice how I added "Weak" to your title~?

I don't think I deserved to be quite nearly killed for a simple accident. The press is hearing about this!

I did NOT 'MAKE' him try to cut me to ribbons! Who in there right mind would? How on EARTH is it MY fault that a stupid neko-baka decided to use me as a scratching post? *humph*

_From Moonlightpheonix-xX_

_Gender and sex are the sane thing. =_= You are male..._

_BTW, do you like kitties? Sebby loves kitties..._

_Oh, dress up in a maid-cat cosplay! He'll probably like you, then. ;)_

Dear Moonlight,

Not quite. There are differences.

Yes, I adore cats. My alternate form in Wonderland WAS a cat. I like black ones and tortoiseshells best, since they don't come in red~!

Been there, done that, got cuddled for a moment until he realised who I really was. Then his coldness came back full force. It was the most heavenly two minutes and fifty-eight seconds of my life.

_From SebastianMichaelisForLife_

_I found your q and a! Sebby chan is mine btw. What do u think of me sk far through are pm messaging_

Dear Sebby-chan4Life,

Yes, you did.

No he isn't.

English please? I don't speak Internet gobbledy-gook.

_From MA the lonely Magi_

_Have you heard of MotHY/akuno-P or The Evillious Chronicles?_

Dear Magi,

Yes I have! I do like the Daughter of Evil songs, although the laugh at the beginning is hideous. I prefer rock or dance though. I also like anything by Kaito and Gakupo, as long as there is a picture accompanying it. I can stare at them for ages~ *nosebleed* ACK!

_From NOM NOM LLAM LLAMA_

_JAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~ Grell-san answered my question:) ooh! getting off topic sorry! which color besides red do you prefer? I myself think you would look positivly BEEMING in PURPLE. deep rich royal purple~ ooh! i'm getting mixed up just thinking about it,Grell-Darling~ and please,call me INSANITY-chan_

_~love without emotion-_

_N*N*L*L_

Dear Insanity-chan,

Personally, I love purple and green! Not neons, mind. Deep and rich green like a lush forest in summer brings out my red hair and matches my eyes nicely. I also like royal purple, which stands out well against my hair, but it doesn't match my eyes as well. I could go on for paragraphs longer, but I think I've summed it up!

_From Michaelis_

_"Reasons Why Ciel Phantomhive Should Let the Amazing and Beautiful Grell Sutcliff Go"_

_1. Grell is awesome_

_2. She has a chainsaw_

_3. She knows how to use said chainsaw._

Dear Grell Michaelis,

I swear, we must be related. Your reasons are all so true and well thought out! I couldn't have said it better myself~! Let's go shopping together later!

_From TheAUWalker_

_Dear Miss Grell,_

_I was wondering..._

_Would you rather have to replace all the clothes in your wardrobe and everything you own with your least favorite color for the rest of your life, or, go without Sebastian/Will/any other smexy men for the rest of your life?_

Dear Walker,

Commit suicide.

NEXT!

_From Roisalee Jones_

_Awww~ me? Playing innocent? Why, never! And Grell, all the threats and violence could have been avoided if you had just let me play with your hair! After all, I am a... down to earth girl! *winks* And I'm not bitter on the inside, I'm an explosion of sour and sweet hun! At least I am well mannered enough that I'm not only ever invited outside~ ;P hmph! I WILL find you, by the way, no matter how well you are "hiding". I have my resources~_

Dear Roisalee,

You will never fool me again.

I don't have to let you touch it if I don't want! It's MINE!

More like an "Up from Hell" girl... *shudder*

That sounds like an invitation. Sorry, but I am really only interested in men~

That... Makes me feel like I need an adult. Will~?

**Ronald: That's all of them, sempai.**

**Grell: That's okay! I'll just fill up the empty space with a full, detailed description of that day at the mall-**

**Ronald: SORRY, TEXT LIMIT REACHED!**

**Grell: I didn't know there was a text li**


	7. Chapter 7

**Well, I must say I am sorry for this being so very belated! Willu caught me sexting Sebas-chan and gave me so much overtime! It's crazy how hard he works a delicate lady like myself. I think he doesn't realise I need my beauty sleep. Anyway, 'sorry' doesn't answer your questions, and by the Death Gods there are a lot of them! Without further distractions, here we are- *phone rings* Oh~ Sebas-chan~...**

**From, TheRedButlerFan**

_XDDD "I didn't know there was a text li-"_

_Grell, I have a question:_

_Since I am your BIGGEST FAN (hence my username) I know almost EVERYTHING about you~ Like a stalker, but I am a girl as well!_

_Could we be friends~? I promise, I'm a reaper in the london dispatch as well! I love the colour red, and we both have a certain... *fetish* for a demon AND a black haired reaper..^.^_

_ANYWAYS, im off topic! Question:_

_If you had to choose between being forced to marry someone you know (which IS a girl, since you're "parents" think you're male), or marrying someone you hate (i.e Claude Faustus), who would you choose, mmm? and SUICIDE IS NOT AN OPTION. if you suicide, sebastian will come and kick your $$ because we all know he loves you~_

Dearest RedButlerFan,

Indeed we can! We can set up a girl's day out and go to Harrods, shall we? We can see who can find the cutest guy!

Well, if attempting suicide gets me Sebas-chan~, then of course I'd force him to save me! How romantic! Claude is pretty sexy, but I don't think I'd like to be married to him... Out of all the women I know, Madam Red is the only one I ever loved. If I had to, I would marry her, if I hadn't killed her...

**From anon,**

_Dear Grell-chan,_

_do you like better, Sebby or Will?_

_2. what is your favorite Disney world park?_

_do you keep your hair so pretty? :3_

_thats al-_

_Bruce: Lulu are you done yet? I am super bored!_

_*throws book* then go do some thing with Will power or callie!_

_Buzzy: Lulu is a bit busy at the moment, so bye-bye!_

Dear Anon,

It is a tough decision! For the longest time I was sure Willu was the only one for me, but recently... I've started to realise that after hundreds of years, I've not managed to change our relationship at all in the way I'd like. But with Sebas-chan, I managed to escalate from an enemy to a friend and unlike Will, he let's me tease him and sometimes even play along. I think he's stolen my heart! He's so mysterious and wild... Oh it just sets me ablaze, don't you think? We match perfectly!

I have not gone to Disney World many times, but I like most amusement parks so long as they have good rollercoasters and a nice tunnel of love~! Although the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is also a favourite of mine.

L'Oréal. Because I'm worth it.

**From MA the lonely Magi,**

_Did you truly love Madam Red?_

Dear MA,

Indeed, the sad truth is that I did love her. Very very much. I loved her enough to kill her, and that is a hard thing to do.

**From NOM NOM LLAMA LLAMA,**

_Dear Grell -san_

_Exactly how does one become a shinigami? Do you die or are you simply created?_

_Also you look soooooooooo handsom with short hair Oh! and AAA's toooooo? KYAAAAAAAAAA!_

_A man after my heart ;}_

_lovies,_

_INSANITY-chan_

Dear Insanity-chan,

As embodiments of DEATH~ , we are created as needed in excess. Since we aren't full gods, as that would apparently be giving us too much power, we all have our faults, except for me, of course. These faults make us seem more like humans and also makes us able to be killed if we step out of line. So we seem similar to humans, but we are not. Or at the very least, I don't remember ever being human.

Thank you, but I prefer my locks long and dramatic. I believe you meant "Woman", not "Man".

**From FinniPockyPanda,**

_Dear Grell,_

_:3_

_If Sebby or Will ever asked you out how would you react?_

_Do you get jealous when Ciel is with your Bassy?:D_

_What color do you prefer your hair if you were forced to change it to something other than red?_

Dear Finni,

I would probably flip out in excitement until an hour before the actual date and then make myself even more gorgeous than usual. So hot that you couldn't look right at me without sunglasses! And then we would French kiss and then [Due to restricted content, the following has been censored]

I admit that he spends time with Bassy that I would kill for.

What a difficult question! I suppose black would have to suffice, but that's really something I don't even want to consider!

**From rockmusic14,**

_i was looking at kuroshitsuji QnAs and found this trash. i think this is a good chance for me to mock you. grell, you homosexual son of a worthless shinigami, i am so much better than you. you know you're a guy and gonna be a guy forever. piece of worthless cardboard, why can't you realise that sebastian just doesn't like you and will never marry you? and your so-called "tutor mode" is hopelessly useless. even i knew that when i was still 7! what's more, if you were given the following sum "?+36x2-43÷5=7" we can see at once that all you have to do is invert the entire sum around and all math signs ( e.g. + ) switched to it's opposite sign bfore we can figure out that ?stands for 3. you are also far too proud, just understand that there are, in fact, better people than you. GO TO HEAVEN, YOU PIECE OF WASTE MATERIAL. you should have died a long time ago. if i ever manage to get you, here's what i'll do._

_1. stick your hair in your death scythe and pull the wire._

_2. take metal spoons, dip them in water fora while let them rust, then dig out your eyeballs with them._

_3. slam you in the face with a 17 kg ball ( YES, in the face. )_

_4. equip my rugby stud boots ( of course, it's the one with the metal spikes, since my over-heated metal stud boots fell in the lake and is currently being heated up ) and kick you in the face 70... maybe make it 77 times._

_5. send you over to roisalee's house in a premium-class box after drugging and gagging you._

_there are much more, but i do not feel like writing it all. go suck a sour-tasting lollipop._

_i am merely a sadistic reaper._

_P.S.A/N sry, whoever is madame grell in real life, though it's probably grey... but anyway, i just found this and i'm not really a grell fan... so yeah, i just thought that we could start an argument, using this QnA as a way of communication. so keep arguing! and once again, i'm really sorry for saying mean things at your idol. i know how you feel. and i recommend watching the anime "Beelzebub" !_

**Second Letter**

_damn... i got a soul to reap, IN TAIWAN. seriously, i have to fly there and search for this soul and fly back. looks like you won't be hearing from me for a week. count yourself lucky, if it weren't for my job, i would have pelted you with my self-esteem lowering words. but don't you dare think it's over. i'll be back._

_i am merely a sadistic reaper._

_P.S. A/N i'm sorry, i'm going on vacation tomorrow... to taiwan. and i won't be back for a week. yea, so you won't be hearing from me for a while. yea, that's all i wanted to point out. thanks, and bye!_

Thank you so much. I worked hard on it.

I wouldn't be so sure... *smirk*

I'm not homosexual, I'm bisexual.

Really? On what grounds do you say this? Also, capitalise your 'I's. Proper nouns must be capitalised. Someone who is 'better' than I should know this.

I'm a trans woman and that is alright with me, although I'd prefer it if my body were the same sex as my mind. Please, enough questions and comments about my gender. Look up 'transsexual' on Wikipedia and you will find that it is proper to call a trans woman by her identified gender as it is proper to call a trans man by his identified gender.

Grey: Yeah, you guys actually should. Transsexuals have to deal with a lot of trouble because of prejudice. Support the trans community!

Grell: Thank you Grey, now whose Q and A is this?

Grey: *Rolls eyes* Yes, 'my lady'.

Grell: Anyways.

You don't know that. Sebastian is actually quite fond of me now. Besides. I don't mind having to wait a few centuries if that's what it takes. I'll be here until he realises that I'm the one for him!

Once again, on what grounds? Someone said they were good at multiplication but hated division, so I compromised. It doesn't matter if YOU know it, other people might not and it's helpful to THEM. And I was thanked.

"what's more, if you were given the following sum "?+36x2-43÷5=7" we can see at once that all you have to do is invert the entire sum around and all math signs ( e.g. + ) switched to it's opposite sign bfore we can figure out that ?stands for 3."

Excuse me~, but we were talking about simple division. I don't know how this has anything to do with simple division. Oh, and also~? *shark-toothed grin* We most certainly can NOT "see at once that all you have to do is invert the sum". First of all, a sum is addition. That isn't a sum, it's an incorrectly written equation! You wrote ? + 36x2 - 43÷5 = 7. In this form, division and multiplication are always done FIRST. So you'd have

? + 72 - 8.6 = 7

? + 63.4 = 7

? = 7 - 63.4

? = -56.4

I actually do know what you were saying though it was incorrectly written. It's a child's math problem written as a chain, right? Well, let me tell you something- those math books write it that way so you can see what's going on before they introduce you to variable equations. The proper way to write that problem is as a variable equation, and here is what it looks like("?" has been replaced with the variable "x"):

[2(x+36) - 43]/5 = 7

Ronald: Wait... Why do you know so much about math?

Grell: You don't get THIS deadly efficient without some ~basic~ knowledge of physics! Also, I modified my deathscythe on my own- don't you think I MIGHT have needed some engineering knowledge to make this~?

Grey: YES! NOW PUT IT DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE!

Ronald: Sempai, we're indoors!

Grell: *puts it down* Fine~!

Now...

I'M too proud! Did you READ your own letter? How preposterous! I don't need to take this from you.

You'll never be able to get me. I'm one of the strongest reapers here!

1: You probably wouldn't be able to hold it. I bet you're really scrawny. And know nothing about physics.

2: You have no tact.

3: Not if I hit YOU first.

4: Don't make me come after you.

5: You have a twisted mind, kid.

I don't want to know. Well I don't feel like reading it. Oh goodie. I love sour lollipops.

P.S.A/N~

That's okay, you gave me ~plenty~ of ways to get back. Mwahahahaaaaa~

And how can one NOT love Grell?

Grell: Other, less pretty girls usually don't.

Second Response

Good riddance! I mean- Yeah, that's too bad, I'll really miss you, bye. Although it's been over a week now. What a shame.

**From Roisalee Jones,**

_Invitation? Don't flatter yourself! Oh, and do tell Ronald I say hi! He's monitoring this, isn't he? He's one of my favorites!_

Dear Roisalee,

Grell: I don't need to flatter myself, I already know how great I am.

Ronald: Hey there, cutie! I'm glad to know I've got some fans out there too! Usually William and sempai steal all the fans here!

**From SebastianMichaelisForLife,**

_I loveeeeee internet talk so much. You say what you think of me in a paragraph._

Dear SebastianMichaelisForLife,

No. But I could sum it up in two words-

Usually illegible.

How's that?

Ronald: Sempai's givin' you a trollface right now!

Grell: Eh? Trollface? What does that look like? *looks it up* HOW DARE YOU SAY I LOOK LIKE THAT!

Ronald: Whoops, gotta go!

**From dynamic-in-red,**

_I can do anything better than youuu ~ (i can sing the entirer song XD wow i'd'like to sing with you ! ) Okay, could you do something for me ? If you see Will the March hare, could you poke his tail for me ~ ? It seems soooo soft / i am obsessed with this tail XD. Huuum anyway... Thanks for the cookies 3 i LOVE cookies ! What did you do for Valentines day ? I saw a picture of you on Yana's'blog where you had a chocolate in your mouth and you seemed to wait someone to take it... Did it work ? Who was it ? And... Random question, do you like platypus ?_

Dear Dynamic,

Grell: Duet! Now!

Sure I'll poke his tail for you! I try to touch that general area all the time anyway...

I reserved a table for two at a fancy restaurant and my dear Sebas-chan accepted my invitation-

William: Sutcliff, if I ever see you bullying a demon like that again...

Grell: Oh shut up, he liked it and you know it. I wish it worked, but sometimes you just can't resist a tasty truffle when it's already sitting in your mouth...

Cartoon ones, yes.

**From SebastianMichaelisluvr1,**

_Ah, so he did get his revenge? I shall read the revenge thing he posted tommorow, it is 1:40am and im rather tired and I need my beauty rest._

_~SebastianMichaelisluvr1_

Dear Stalker of someone else's true love,

I don't want to talk about it...

**From TheAUWalker,**

_Mmm...me too. Men rock._

_Do you like pancakes or waffles?_

Dear Walker,

Waffles with lots of strawberries and cream! It's one of my favourite meals.

**From OnehellofaCiel,**

_Sebastian: Hello Grell. My master is still recovering from having his soul torn in half, so I shall write in for him. You wouldn't by any chance know of any people on the To-Die list who would provide a soul for my master to feed on? He is in a demon-sleep, and he will not be able to move until the energy he gave up for me has been returned. *sigh* If you won't do it willingly, I shall...I hate myself, but it is for bocchan,... kiss you for five seconds._

Dearest love-of-my-life and his annoying demon cat thing,

One whole week with you as my butler, and it's a deal. You know how much trouble I could get into for something like that? I'll give you a hint- a lot.

William: Grell, what are you writing?

Grell: WILL! EXCUSE ME BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY NOTION OF PRIVATE SPACE?

**From SachaMoore,**

_Dear Grell,_

_First of all I would like to state that I love your character in black butler so much and you and Sebastian all the way...okay lets start with my questions_

_If you had the chance would you kill that priest girl that "hit it off" with Sebastian?_

_What about Sebastian makes you adore him so much?_

_And last but least..._

_who do you like more Will or Sebastian?_

_Thank you and tell Sebastian, Sacha said "Hi!"_

Dear Sacha,

Why thank you! I am quite flattered by all of you beautiful people adoring me and my Sebas-chan!

Yes. Without a second thought. She almost became the last Jack the Ripper victim. I personally made sure I was the one to reap her soul- and I wasn't fast about it either.

As I said earlier, I believe it's Sebas-chan.

I will! Thank you for your kind letter!

**From Mr. Grell Michaelis,**

_OMG YES~ I would love to go shopping with you! :D actually, i need a dress for my school's formal! Wanna go to the mall this weekend? but i gotta say...i'm on a budget... :D $50 is breaking the bank...(actually 20 is, but i might get to squeeze another 30 from some pplz) and I HATE SHORT DRESSES! i mean like those ones as short as Alois' booty shorts and more floofy than Lizzy's dresses...and i also don't like showing cleavage...don't wanna scare my little brothers...also, the theme is A NIGHT IN WONDERLAND~...so i immediately thought of Ciel...but i crossed that out. My fave colors are red and black! (seriously, like i loved these colors BEFORE Grell...)_

_GRELLXSEBBY 4EVER!_

Dear Grell Michaelis,

I agree, it is VERY difficult to find the perfect dress. Usually when I buy dresses, it is for something like the opera, or a themed dance. For a formal, I would think you want something just frilly enough without being overboard, something flattering but not as loud and obnoxious... I wish I could have shopped with you, but Will made me do paperwork for a month! Without any field jobs! Can you believe it?

**_Well, that's all I can manage before big bad Will comes back and makes me do the last bit of paperwork. I'm off to hide in the ladies room until I can escape without notice... Don't tell him where I'm hiding~! Please and thank you~_**

**_Sincerely,_**

**_Grell Sutcliff_**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm back~! Fashionably late as always, of course~!**

**Let's not dilly-dally, shall we? On to the questions!**

* * *

><p>From Insanity-chan,<p>

**FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE! I didn't mean ta call yoooo a guyyyyyyyyyyyy! stupeeed bitch computer! -smashes computer with a stick-**

**why is Will so rude to you dear? I mean he's such a dick yo you if i were you i'd remind him whose the AAA student and whose the B student HE GOTS NUUU RITE TU DAMMAGE DAT BEYEWTEEFULLL FACE! RAWR**

**trollin' for you always,**

**INSANITY-chan**

Dearest INSANITY-chan~

That's alright dear, everyone makes that mistake sometimes. Why, even Bassy still does, and he KNOWS~ how much of a woman I am.

Yes, I used to put up with it but lately it's becoming just the ~teensiest~ bit bothersome. Not like I mind rough men, but it's like he AIMS for my beautiful face! Naturally I never shout at him for it on screen, but sometimes behind the scenes I'll chew him out for it. I like a cold man, but I need someone with some passion too!

* * *

><p>From Lady Lovely Amaranth,<p>

***A Lady dressed in a black corsetted dress with white ribbons in her long brown hair steps forward***

**I have one question so far for you, Grell, in all your glorious redness; I love red. I'd die for that color! But when I wear it I look terrible, save for highlights. Any tips for this lassie?**

Dear Amaranth,

Red is indeed a most fabulous colour, but it isn't for everyone sweetheart! Without a picture reference I'm afraid I can't help much, but experiment with different shades. Burgundy is a lovely deep red that works beautifully on most people with brown hair. Steer clear of red-orange. It rarely looks good on anyone. Since you love the colour so much you would die for it, I'll make extra sure that you die in it when the time comes for me to reap you~! Everyone looks beautiful in that particular shade, don't you think?

* * *

><p>From AquaLotus99,<p>

**OMG GRELL YOUR DOING A Q AND A? I should have found out earlier :'( *sob* I love you so much ~~ don't worry, I know Sebby's yours~~ hmm... but I really like Sebby... and you two are perfect for each other... OH MY GOSH I KNOW! LET'S START A SEBBYxGRELL FAN CLUB! You can be leader, and I'll be vice okay? This'll be so much fun~~~ wait...I need a question, getting off track, sowwyy~~~ Okay, so, if Sabby ever offered to go on a date with you, where would you go? And what would you do? And what would it lead to? ;) winky~~~ anyways, reply mmkay?~ This way I can communicate with my favourite lady-in-red in the world~~~ Oh yeah, fashion question, I have short black hair with brown streaks and glasses, and I;m kinda tanned- would you say red suits me? It's okay if it's a no, I respect your decision~~~ Any way, babye Grell-san~~~**

**From the Lady-in-Red's No.1 admirer**

**~~Lotus-chan~~~**

**^Call me that okay?~~**

Dear Lotus-chan,

Don't fret! I'll be writing for some time yet! I assure you I am flattered! I knew I had a following, but you all are so kind! Well, with a few exceptions- although I won't point fingers. It's wonderful to meet another fine girl with taste!

If he asked me on a date, we would go somewhere romantic, like on a cruise, or to Paris... No! I know where! To Venice at the time of Carnival, where we would dance with each other by the moonlit water, and all around us there would be that wonderful sense of mystery that comes with a masquerade. Even though our faces would be disguised by masks, the red string of fate would lead us to one another-

Ronald: Or the fact that Sempai'd be wearing the most obnoxious red dress in existence! I've seen her marketers dress, it's hard not too. Its so loud, I think astronauts can HEAR it.

Grell: Oh hush. And to answer your second question, Lotus-chan, I am sure that by the time the night were up, we would be tired from dancing and breathless from kissing and have to retire. To the bedroom. And the rest is R-SHITEI!

The lovliest shade of red for tanned skin is most likely going to be the brightest and purest of reds! And yes, I do believe that shade of red would suit you. The most I portage thing to do, when wearing red, however, is to be worthy of the colour~! Although it doesn't sound like that would be trouble for you.

* * *

><p>From rockmusic14,<p>

**... I wasn't doing order of operation. Yes, I'm back. Ugh... Yes, there was a text limit. For example, if you type ...**

**- 5 minutes later-**

**... you'll soon reach the text limit. You actually bothered to read the entire thing? That's new. I am now showing you that I capitalize my 'I's now because last time, I was using my phone, and it was still quite old. Yes, I know what you're thinking, but now isn't the time... * Shudders * I hate this.**

**I am merely a sadistic reaper that went on a 'vacation' a few days ago.**

"Dearest" rockmusic,

Ha. I win.

Sincerely,

The Red Goddess

* * *

><p>From dynamic-in-red,<p>

**Yeees ! We are singers to die for ! ^w^ aaaw you must have been very happy ! I'm jealous i think XD. The idea of spending some time with Sebby drives me.. Ouuh ~ . Oh, Hi Will ! Don't be so jealous, dear ! If you don't want your Lady to spend some time with a demon, then ask her for a romantic date ! I love chocolate too, i have to admit that i would have eat it too X3 chocolate is a girl's best friend ! Cartoon Platypus are the best. You would be cute with a cartoon platypus in your arms. Weeeell anyway, how does your room looks like ? All red i suppose ? I saw you were good at maths, you surprise me ! Have you got other hidden talents ? Can you...draw or write nice novels for example ? Haha it reminds me that once i saw a book writter by a William Sutcliff XD. Maybe your future son ?**

Dear Dynamic,

I'm afraid that I, William T. Spears, will have to respond to this letter instead of Mr. Sutcliff. I am not jealous of soul-stealing filth. If I were, I would undoubtedly have to rethink my life. Sutcliff and I have no son, did not ever have a son, and will not ever have a son. It is impossible for two males to procreate.

Grell: Wiiiilllll, this is MY Q&A!

Ronald: Go be stuffy somewhere else!

Grell: Ronnie, go be rude somewhere else.

Ronald: Awwww, -Sempai...- Fine. Goodbye ladies! I'll be back later! *wink*

Grell: WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE? ~Thank~ you. Now, where were we?

Oh yes, sorry about that! Will is being a bit of a sneaky-boots lately. Ever since he saw my chat window with Uh... Helluvubutlr... Who barges into a lady's study and reads her private chats anyway! I have a bad feeling he also checked my search history. He's been eyeing me funny, and not in the way I'd like him to. Oh well. I'll take what I can get.

Chocolate is a girl's best friend! Did you know that woman who eat a small amount of dark chocolate each day remain thinner and healthier than those who don't? I've been trying to convince Will that means he should always make sure I have enough, but he told me just to get them myself! Making a lady get her own chocolate! I'm starting to think he has no romance in him at all! *pouts*

My room is a lavish ode to red. The wall is covered in red velvet drapes, my canopy is red velvet, the wood in my dresser and floor is burgundy, and the carpet is deep red. So yes, there is quite a lot of red.

Yes, I do have a few underspoken talents! After all, I am a ~deadly~ efficient Reaper! I am working on a play right now, as a matter of a fact. It will rival Shakespeare! A forbidden but passionate romance... It will be the story of my life.

* * *

><p>From Taffy,<p>

**Grell~! *glomps you and strokes your hair* You don't know me, but I know you ;3**

**Anyway, I was wondering, do you wanna trade bodies with me? I'm female c:**

**Annnndd, I heard a rumor that Claude is the baby of Sebastian and William! Did you know about their past together? :o What do you think about this? And what does Will say about it?**

**Also, what are you and Will like when you're drunk?**

**What do you think Ciel will look like when he's older? :o You know, Ciel's dad looked a LOT like Sebastian. Ciel could end up looking like Sebastian. What would you do if you found out that Sebastian is actually Ciel's father? /shot**

**My last question is: Do you think Sebastian has "special" feelings for Ciel? How would your opinion of Sebastian change if he does?**

Dear Taffy,

Ah, my my! What an enthusiastic greeting! Um, your fingers aren't _greasy_, are they?

Thank you for the offer, but I would prefer it if I could change my own body to be female. This hair and these teeth are my pride and joy! I can't deny my wish for a more feminine figure though.

Sounds like a far-fetched rumour to me! Besides, they're both male. As much as I hate the fact, males can't be impregnated. Unless... You don't think Bassy's true form is -female-, do you! Nevertheless, I don't think that would be the case.

William: No. And Sutcliff has his own category for drunk. I recommend against enquiring further.

Grell: I think Ciel would probably look... Rather dashing, actually.

First you say Sebby may be Ciel's father and then you ask what if he had special feelings for the brat? I get shivers down my spine -not the good kind- just thinking about it! How revolting! No, I do not think he does because with all the love for me he has in his heart there isn't any room for anyone else!

* * *

><p>From MarsCat3,<p>

**Hi Grell-san! HUGE fan! Anyway,my twin and I have a question! What's your favorite dessert? :) and what's your favorite holiday? :3 hugs and kisses! 3**

Dear MarsCat,

Always a pleasure~! My favourite dessert is strawberries and cream. The colours remind me of so many fabulous things, not the least of all being my own gorgeous hair against my skin~!

Ronald: Grell-san, you know there ARE people reading this. We don't all want to lose our lunches.

Grell: EXCUSE ME WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

Ronald: The ladies wanted an encore, so I obliged!

Grell: Nobody likes a vain man, you know Ronnie.

Ronald: *rolls eyes* Ya don't say...

Grell: Humph... Well. Anyway. My favourite holiday is Christmas. I love how everyone decorates. And all the sales. And the food and sweets. And the presents.

William: Do you even know what it's about?

Ronald: As far as she is concerned, its about her.

Grell: Didn't I send you two away several paragraphs ago?

* * *

><p>From ,<p>

**aww...Will sucks! but we need to do a girls night out some time soon! hey,**

Dear Grell Michaelis,

Indeed we do!

* * *

><p>From Moonlightpheonix-xX,<p>

**Hmmm, maybe one becomes a reaper by dying and simply sacrifices their memory and reaping souls keeps the reaper alive, somewhat like how a demon eats souls to live? Maybe you should ask William about that.**

**WHAT THE HECK? Grell, can you help in math class? I'm kinda' failing...**

**Yes, Ronald. I agree you need more fans. 'Cause you're awesome. Like Prussia-/shotforhetaliareferance/**

**lol, trollface. Love ya, Ronald!**

**Waffles!**

**BTW, Grell, I really think you should watch Hetalia. IT'S FULL OF HOT, TSUNDERE MEN! IT'S AWESOME!**

Dear Moonlight,

Will said he doesn't really know. We just... Are. I guess. But I can say that we don't need to reap to stay alive! Just look at Undertaker! He's been retired since before I was born and he is still hot as hell and going strong!

Yes I can, what with? Although it would be best to ask me via PM. You'll be the third I've helped here!

Ronald: Sempai may be an idiot, but she's not dumb!

Grell: I'll pretend I only heard the last half of that.

Ronald: I do, don't I? Well, I have you so that's someone. You good for dinner tonight?

Grell: Shameless flirt!

Ronald: No, really Sempai? I learned from the best, didn't I?

Grell: How rude!

I've started reading Hetalia. I must say, it is fantastic! That Germany... So cold, it just sets me on FIRE~!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Until the next time darlings~!<strong>_

_**Your Red Goddess,**_

_**Grell Sutcliff**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Grell: Ah, it seems there are fewer questions to answer this time. I suppose someone else is hogging the attention? Oh, I'll put her in her place al right…~**

**William: Grell, how many times must I inform you… The bearing of a death scythe is not permitted indoors…**

**Ronald: Um… Sempai's got that creepy grin again…**

* * *

><p><strong><em>From Dynamic-in-red,<em>**

_Hi Wiiillu ~ you know nobody believes you when you say you're not jealous, darling... well anyway, love can overcome everything ! Even the fact that two males can't have children. And if youy want children you can marry me, i am a true woman you know ~ . Hello Ronnie ! Nice to see you ! Aaaw i eat a piece of chocolate evryday ~ Did Will or Sebby offer you some for Easter ? You room seems nice ^^ mine is very red too ! Well, i am also an actress, we could act together in a Shakespearian play someday !_

Dear Ms. Dynamic-in-Red,

This is William T. Spears speaking. I appreciate the… enthusiasm, but I guarantee you that whatever Mr. Sutcliff thinks, we are nothing more than coworkers. I feel I must decline your offer, however generous. It would not be ethical.

This is Grell now. Don't listen to Will. He just doesn't want to admit I'm hot! Unfortunately, not to my face. One of them must have, though, because I did find an adorable little red basket with some delectable chocolates outside my door! No note, though, so I'm stuck guessing. I'll assume it was a collaboration for now~ Perhaps we will meet on the stage sometime!

* * *

><p><strong><em>From Nathalaia,<em>**

_Eyaa~! Now I want to have a word in, too!Came to think of, Grell, have you ever read any fanfictions pairing you and Ronald? And what do you think of t h a t pairing?Oh~! And I must say, I absolutely adore you. And I just looove Ronald~ So awesome!Oh, and tell William to get that stick out of his ass, ne? It must hurt like hell. So stoic... (Still like him, though. Cold people - and shinigami - are nice, mh?)Sincerely~ Nathalaia ~_

Dear Nathalaia,

I must say, I have indeed! Ronald is a sweet man, no doubt, although I think we are closer to a brother and sister than lovers. I do enjoy a little tease now and then, but never more.

This is Ronald. Sorry for taking over, but Sempai went to go ask William to get the stick out of his ass. …Oooo, I think Grell will be out of commission for a bit... Heheh.

* * *

><p><strong><em>From Lady Lovely Amaranth,<em>**

_You sly devil, you! The reds you listed were amazing on me!_

_supernova123: Amaranth! My alter ego, what in the name of God did you do now? I'm sorry, Grell. She is my second alter ego I_ _have. _(Um... I think my computer scrambled this a bit...)

_ Lovely: N-nothing!supanovart123: ... You watch too much Black Butler. Anyway, Grell, I have a question. How do Reapers get their weapons? Tempted to become one myself simply because of the weapons, and of course, looking at people's Records of their lives. It all seems so fun!_

Dear Lovely and Supernova,

I am the Red Goddess after all! Alter ego, ne? I've had some encounters with people of this nature. They can be quite amusing. There can never be too much watching of Black Butler! I mean, just look at all those handsome men.

Well, I'm afraid that Step 1 is: Be born as a shinigami. It's possible for a human to become a shinigami… Probably.

William: Sutcliff, stop speaking nonsense. He has no idea, ma'am.

* * *

><p><strong><em>From Sebby Michaelis,<em>**

_Dear Grell, What's your worst pet peeve?_

_Do you like to sing in the shower?_

_And whats your favorite breed of cat, or are you allergic? =^-^=_

_-Sebby Michaelis_

Dear Sebby Michaelis,

I love your username! My biggest pet peeves are attention hogs. The spotlight should always be on the most beautiful woman, and that's ME.

I deny ever singing in the shower!

Ronald: Lady GaGa. Every morning.

Grell: *blush* Do not!

My favourite breed of cat… I like black ones. They remind me of Sebastian.

* * *

><p><strong><em>From NOM NOM LLAMA LLAMA,<em>**

_what do you think of claude faustus? also i apologize for trolling-no one likes a was opium invulved. with...VODKA!..sorry but you try watching shandawson on youtub its sooooo awfull! also since your butler form is sooo cute,... c-could you transform into it pweeeeaazzzzz...?_

_INSANIY-chan_

Dear iNSaNiTY-chan~

I wish I had gotten to know him. He was HOT. I do not suggest mixing opium and vodka- It makes for a great story later on though. Unless, of course, it was YOU drinking the mix, in which case it is a great story for everyone ELSE and a subject of great embarrassment to you. And the worst part is that you ended up in a gutter without your clothes on and you can't remember a goddam thing from what must have been the greatest night of your life. And… I suppose I could be in my human form for just a bit.

Ronald: Sempai, you look like a man.

Grell: I'll tolerate this as long as possible…

* * *

><p><strong><em>From <span>OnehellofaCiel<span>,_**

_(aww u forgot me)To whomever sent the question referring to my father and Sebastian, as well as what I would look like if I were able to grow up, which, mind you, as a demon I can't: Sebastian is not my father, he actually took on the form that looked like my father though on purpose. As for your compliment Grell...thank you?_

'Dearest' Fluffy Kitten Demon Pet Boy,

You keep your poor, handsome, hardworking butler as your slave for eternity. Ergo, you have NO morals.

No compliment.

* * *

><p><strong><em>From <span>Moonlightpheonix-xX<span>,_**

_For now, all I have to say is Grell, you're awesome!_

_Sorry, Ronald. XD I'm 12. So no, I don't date. Maybe in a few years, though. XD_

Dear Moonlight,

Thank you!

Ronald: Ah… Oh…*facepalm* Sorry about that… heheh…. I look forward to that….

Oioioioioioi

Grell: HA!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well, it's been fabulous as always, kittens. I can't wait to fulfill the next barrage of questions thrown my way… in due time, of course~<strong>_

_**Ta-ta~!**_

_**Your Red Goddess,**_

_**Grell Sutcliff**_

_**XXX**_


End file.
